It happened in a breakout room.

We were leading one of our coaching groups…tight circle, no slides, just stories. One participant (let’s call him Al) had just finished sharing how exhausted his team was.

“They’re checked out,” he said. “It’s like nobody wants to own anything anymore.”

Another leader in the room asked: “How do you walk into the office every day?”

Silence.

Then Mike said it—the sentence that cracked something open: “Honestly? I walk in, braced, and go right to my office.”

Boom.

That’s when the shift happened. Not in the curriculum. In the room.

Because here’s what we know: You can train a leader’s skillset. But if their nervous system is shot, it won’t matter.

Leadership isn’t just a role. It’s a regulation system.

When a leader is grounded, the team breathes easier.
When a leader is triggered, the room tightens.
When a leader walks in braced, guess what? Everyone else braces too.

We often say it in our leadership programs: Leaders bring the weather.

If your team feels foggy, anxious, or stormy…it’s worth asking what you’re unconsciously broadcasting.

And before you say “that’s soft stuff,” let’s talk impact:

• Regulated leaders create clarity.
• Reactive leaders create chaos.
• Steady leaders get trust.
• Spiky leaders get compliance…until they don’t.

Al didn’t need another model. He needed a mirror.
And when he got one, he didn’t flinch. He made the call. Started getting serious about
his own development. Started meditating. Started working out. Started slowing down
his reactions instead of speeding up his control.

Six months later?
Same team.
New tone.
And they’re delivering like never before.

Because when the weather clears, people show up.

Leadership isn’t a personality.
It’s not charisma.
And it’s certainly not a job title.

It’s a nervous system.
Regulate that, and you don’t just change meetings.
You change culture.

Need a reset? Let’s talk,

Cristina “Regulate the Room” Filippo