Let’s pretend the glass of water sitting on the desk is you.

Clear.

Capable.

Calm.

Now let’s dump in a heaping spoonful of mud – your stress, your grief, your late-night what-ifs, your can’t-escape-it worries.

Welcome to being human.

Now here’s what most of us do when the water gets murky: we stir harder.

Mentally rehashing every word. Replaying every conversation. Trying to fix, outthink, or outrun the discomfort.

And the more you stir? The cloudier it gets.

Your brain, bless it, is just trying to protect you.

But psychology shows that resisting emotions only makes them louder.

Avoiding grief, suppressing fear, denying overwhelm…none of that clears the water. It just kicks up more sediment.

I’ve seen it up close this month. A friend is going through a brutal divorce. Another grieving the loss of her favorite auntie. A third is navigating a family addiction crisis that has shaken her to her core.

All brilliant, capable women whose brains have been whispering, “Just keep pushing through.”

But here’s the truth: resilience isn’t about pushing. It’s about pausing.  It’s about taking stock.

The fastest way to settle the mud isn’t to stir it more.

It’s setting the spoon down.

Try this. Instead of spiraling into the emotion, name it. “I’m feeling anxiety right now.” “I’m feeling sadness right now.” “I need a reset.”

That’s not a weakness. That’s neuroscience.

Naming an emotion with compassion calms the brain’s threat response. It reminds you: this feeling is a visitor, not a lifelong verdict.

You’re not broken. Your brain’s just doing what it’s wired to do…keep you safe by trying to solve the storm instead of sitting through it.

But the magic happens in the stillness.

That’s why having a coach or a trusted community matters. Because when the water’s too murky to see clearly, you need someone who knows how to sit with you in it – without judgment, without fixing – until it clears.

Micro-Lesson: Stillness isn’t weakness. It’s the strategy your nervous system has been begging for.

We hold space for leaders to process the mess…so they don’t have to carry it alone.

If your inner world feels cloudy, don’t stir harder. Reach out,

Cristina “Set the Spoon Down” Filippo